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We’re from the Government and we’re here to help…

September 9th, 2008 Posted in School, WTF

OK, so everyone is probably aware that student loans for college are all backed by the government (unless you really want to get in even more debt, in which case there are also private loans available too). Well, because the government is involved, there are also some very asinine rules that they apparently set up to make sure that we students are actually going to class before they will give us the money to go to class.

For example, I have started the new semester here in the land of Code Pinko’s and tree huggers but before the semester started I called the financial aid office and asked when I could pick up my check so I could do things like – oh – pay for books, pay rent, buy food. You know, normal stuff that you need money for and that since I was back in school full time that means I can’t work full time to earn money for all those things. Sounds pretty reasonable right? Well, I guess not because even though the semester started at the beginning of the month I was told that student loan money isn’t disbursed until the end of the month, around the 30th to “Make sure that you are actually attending class and that you don’t waste the money.”

Wow, gee thanks Mr. G-man. I have only had to sign more paperwork for this loan money than when I enlisted in the military saying that yes, I understand I will owe you my soul and my firstborn child but I appreciate you also wanting to be double-plus sure that I was actually ATTENDING class because, you know, I’m only a grad student and I’m not really sure what I want to do with my life yet. That’s how come I got my Bachelor’s Degree (Suma Cum Laude) and then applied to grad school – because I am drifting aimlessly through the world instead of working on a degree that will get me a job doing what I came here for in the first place.

To add to the layers of bullshit, when I mention to the financial aid drone what I needed the money for (i.e. books, food, rent, etc.) his response was “Well, student loans are ONLY supposed to be used for school related items.” Gee, I didn’t know that food or having a place to live wasn’t related to school.

Little asshat pissed me off so much I just gave a long pause and said “OK, since you are obviously just PLAYING at actually working in financial aid, how bout you put someone on the phone who isn’t a total idiot.”

My god how stupid can you be? I know, I am making enemies and there is the old saying of “you get more flies with honey… blah, blah” but I’ve also discovered that if they fear you they will do what you want. So, since they are too dang stupid to do something because they respect me as a student, they now do it because they fear me as the biggest pain in the butt that has ever walking into their office.

Picked up my check yesterday.

2 Responses to “We’re from the Government and we’re here to help…”

  1. Michael Says:

    Flies are drawn more to fresh bullshit than honey, though. What does that mean?

  2. Instinct Says:

    Well, since the government essentially runs on bullshit I guess it would explain how so many people on the liberal end of things ended up in government service, they were drawn to it by the smell

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