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Please tell me this is a joke

September 12th, 2009 Posted in Movies, ramblings

Another “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie… WTF???

Depp will reprise his role as Capt. Jack Sparrow in “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” slated for summer of 2011. It’s the fourth in a series.

Dressed as Sparrow, Depp staggered around the stage and embraced Walt Disney Studios Chairman Dick Cook, who announced the news to about 5,000 fans on hand for the D23 Expo, Disney’s answer to Comic-Con.

Yeah, just what the world needs, another crappy movie, because ‘At World’s End” wasn’t bad enough for them

I know I’ve said this before, but is there NO originality left in Hollyweird?  Are they so afraid of taking a chance on something new that instead all we get is retread after retread.  And then, when they DO try something new they either take the original story and screw it up so bad you can’t recognize it from the book that they took it from, or the do something so left wing artsy that the only people that go to see it are the Hollyweird people themselves.

And to add insult to injury, Depp will be in a Lone Ranger movie…. as Tonto.

In his presentation of upcoming Disney films, Cook also announced that Depp would play Tonto in an upcoming big-screen adaptation of “The Lone Ranger.”

Yea, cause I bet there was NO WAY you could find a Native American who could act, right?  I remember laughing over the fact that Hollywood had Chuck Connors play Geronimo, the bluest eyed Geronimo you will ever see, and how Hollywood is all about rights and equality but they are so concerned with equal rights that they once again can’t find an Native American to play a Native American.

Why is that somehow OK to do this but it’s not OK when Robert Downey Jr put on blackface to play a character in “Tropic Thunder”? It must be a ‘black thing’ or something that I’m just not smart enough to understand.  In any event, a big “thank you” to Disney for proving that, even without Eisner, they are still going to shovel crap to us and call it a feast.

11 Responses to “Please tell me this is a joke”

  1. ailuromaniac Says:

    While I mostly agree with the current fare. I have to point out that while not a resident of the reservations Mr Depp does have Cherokee in his heritage. Last time I checked, The Cherokee was still a native American tribe. This weakens your argument, Instinct, and that is unlike you.

    While he is raking it in with “Kiddie Fare”, I cant begrudge him the bankroll. He has done some interesting and tasty work.

    As for genius in Hollywierd… 90% of everything is excrement.


  2. Instinct Says:

    My wife is part Cherokee as well, and she has blond hair and blue eyes. I wouldn’t expect them to cast her to play Pocahontas because physically, she doesn’t look the part. :)

    Tonto, according to the stories Tonto is a full blooded Pottawatomie. How difficult would it be to find another like Jay Silverheels to reprise the role?

    To me this is more a case of “Let’s get a big name” rather than doing it right.


  3. Instinct Says:

    Oh, and good to hear from you AM, what the heck you been up to 😀


  4. ailuromaniac Says:

    I apparently had nothing better to do than to grow an 18cm fibroid. The removal of which (6/26)caused great excitement for everyone but me. I slept through it. I am told there was unexpected and abnormal vascularization in the little troublemaker. I only received 8 units of packed red cells due to the fortuitous presence of a vascular surgeon who delayed his scheduled proceedure to step in. If he had not, I may not have been here to make snarky comments.

    I am rather proprietary of my drop of Cherokee. It is not officially there because my passing for white 1/2 blood GGF decided that he would rather get drunk at a local bar than register with the tribe. Times being what they were, I can’t say I blame him. If he had been Osage…. Well, greed can color judgement.

    JD at least has the coloring and bone structure. And if he exercises it the power to pull a Bruce Lee / Kato show stealing performance. I hope he refuses to talk like an automaton.

    Can they find a Jay Silverheels on the reservation? I don’t know. I know that is not where they found Jay Silverheels.


  5. Instinct Says:

    Glad to hear that you are still with us then! So are you back to 100% snark, or are you having to take it easy for a while?

    I will hope that JD does the character some justice, but I am much to cynical about Hollywood to think that it will happen. Look what they did to Superman.

    As for Jay, nope, he went to Hollywood and was an actor.


  6. ailuromaniac Says:

    I was officially released from Medical House Arrest on 8/24. Still working on getting my legs back. Not up to an 8 minute Olympic Endurance Salsa yet. Did do some moderately high kicks to New York, New York at last night’s Showcase Ball though.

    Since you are so down on recent movies and remakes, dare I ask your reaction to Star Trek?


  7. Instinct Says:

    Didn’t see it. Was never a big Star Trek person and the commercials to me looked like “Star Trek meets 90210″ so I had no interest in shelling out $10 bucks on it.

    I will say that I was greatly disappointed in the last Indiana Jones movie. They should have ended that one after “The Last Crusade”


  8. ailuromaniac Says:

    It was actually a pretty solid alternate timeline story. And it was grounded in a classic…Moby Dick. With a twist, the Federation gets to be the Whale. As for the 90210 bit, it is a school day’s story and Kirk was always portrayed as an incorrigible skirt chaser.

    Do catch it on the late night when it hits and watch for the tasty parts. McCoy is played by Eomer (Karl Urban) and he nails DeForest Kelly to the hilt. And I still like Spock…both iterations.


  9. ailuromaniac Says:

    P.S. You do not have my glandular bias obviously. Believe me anything that gets Harrison Ford SHIRTLESS has socially redeeming value.


  10. Instinct Says:

    True, you’ve got me there.


  11. Jennifer Says:

    Being from Oklahoma and having my particular coloration causes some funny conversations. I had to explain to my 2nd grade teacher that Filipino is not a tribe. And no, I don’t speak Spanish.
    Meh.
    Glad you’re still with us AM.


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