I’m tired. I’m really, really fucking tired. I’m tired of the five percent of the customers that come into our store that think we are there to clean up their god damn mess, watch their kids, and kiss their fucking asses. New flash, assholes, we have actual WORK to do and that doesn’t include baby sitting, wiping your butt, or being your personal maid.
I really don’t understand how these douche-bag morons are able to function in the world. I see them doing shit like pushing their strollers onto the escalator while ignoring the sign that says “Please use the elevator behind you for strollers or wheelchairs”. Then, when you point it out to them they pull a fucking attitude on you. Yeah, because you KNOW that when they lose control of it and junior takes the big fall back to the first floor that they will be suing us, but how dare we stop them from being dumbshits.
Or the dickhead teenager who thinks that A) Skateboarding in the store is cool and is trying to practice his kick flips in the Manga section while hanging out with his waste-of-an-orgasm friends or B) thinks that doing stupid shit on the escalator that will most likely result in stitches in his head is a good way to impress the ladies. While I do enjoy throwing them out (which I do) there is always one who tries the “This is a public place, we have a right to be here. Wrong, niou-se, we are a PRIVATELY OWNED COMPANY and we can throw your ass out if we want to.
I also like it when they decide that since, in their school, no one can lay a hand on them that it must be true with the rest of the world too and they get ballsy enough to try and challenge me. I usually tell them that yes, I will kick your ass and then call the cops to arrest you for trespassing. Always nice to see the look in their eyes when they realize that they have suddenly walked their virgin asses into a situation that they aren’t going to win.
My other favorite customer: The parents who drop the kids off in the kids section while they head over to sit and have a coffee while their little tax deduction tears books, destroys merchandise and draw on the walls with the crayons they ripped open from one of the coloring books. But OH MY GOD if you tell them to get control of the little Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze they (once again) pull the offended act. Yeah, how dare we stop your monster from destroying something that YOU AREN’T GOING TO PAY FOR!!!
Get the fuck out of my store capullo!
I had one woman who’s brat was running in the kids section pulling books off the shelves by the handful and when we told her to stop her mom’s response was “She’s not hurting anyone. Besides, it’s your job to clean up so I don’t see what your problem is.”
The problem, bitch, is that we have other shit to do like, oh gee, help customers that are actually buying shit. Seriously, how fucking stupid are you people that you think we are here to just clean up after you while you walk around with your nose in the fucking air because SOMEHOW you must be smarter, better and more socially acceptable that I am because I work in a bookstore while you have some fucking office job. We are just here to serve you coffee and pamper you while you crap all over the place and fuck up our magazines? Don’t think so.
How God Damn difficult is it to put your shit back where you got it from? Do you just let your kids drop crap all over your house to and it just stays where it hits? Or are you just showing a double standard that it’s OK to shit on people who you don’t know because your such a stummer arsch?
The worst part, the VERY WORST FUCKING PART, is that it’s FIVE PERCENT of our customers that do this shit and it fucks the whole store up, makes us spend more time fixing shit than being able to help people and if we could just ban that five percent from the store the whole place would be cleaner, would take less time to close up at night, and we would be able to provide better service to the rest of our customers.
I really wish you jackasses would just stay the hell our of my store. Really, just go watch TV or something, books are wasted on you anyway.