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The Money Thief

February 16th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in crappy art, Movies

I was honestly looking forward to The Lightning Thief.  I had read the books and thought that they were nicely done with a linear storyline that lent itself very well to being turned into a script.  Apparently I was either VERY badly mistaken, or Craig Titley didn’t bother to actually read the book and only used crib notes while he turned out the screenplay for this Olympian sized disappointment.

Considering the other movies to his credit (Cheaper By The Dozen 1 and 2, Scooby-Do, and a TV “documentary’ that contends the moon landing was faked) I will contend that transforming a book with three strong main characters in Percy, Grover and Annabeth into a strong movie was far beyond his capacity as a writer.

**Spoilers Ahead**

While the books were fun and enjoyable to read, the movie plodded along as if everyone that was part of it was simply going through the motions.  Percy discovering that he is a demi-god is met with the same level of emotion as when his mother is killed by the Minotaur (yes, the same one).  A few brief words of “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it..” and then we are off to the next scene.  The entire movie felt like one forced scene after another and every one was disjointed and smashed together.  There was never a point where you felt like the picture had a pacing or flow to it that allowed the plot to reveal itself.  Instead every plot point is shoved in your face as if the entire audience is far too stupid to figure it out without big clues and signs.

In the books Percy’s parentage is slowly revealed because he is special.  In the books the “Big Three”, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades had agreed not to have any more children with mortals because the last time they did it ended up with WWII being fought.  So Percy’s existence is chancy to say the least.  Just by breathing he has put the gods closer to going to war again.  In the books when Poseidon claims his son it’s a big deal, everyone is in shock.  In the movie it’s revealed by Chiron taking Percy to his cabin and saying “Here your father built this for you.” and the cabin looks like Captain Jack’s version of home with ships wheels and nautical items everywhere.

Every scene is rushed through to such a point that you end up wondering why one character helping the other.  They meet in the morning and by that night they are suddenly leaving together to go on a quest of life and death proportions??? Percy arrives at Camp Half Blood and somehow after only one day there is suddenly a huge bad ass with a sword and shield.  HUH??  Also, at the end of that single day he runs off on his quest to get Zeus’ lightning back.  In the books it is approached as a quest with the heroes consulting the Oracle of Delphi and being sent out but the movie can’t be bothered with this and instead resorts to having Zeus accuse Percy of stealing his lightning bolt for no reason at all except that he is Poseidon’s son.  Which, if it was stolen for the sake of stealing then Zeus would have looked to Hermes if anyone who wrote the script had thought about it for a moment.

The movie also removed Aries and Kronos as major characters, in fact, they aren’t even mentioned while in the book they are a couple of the central characters involved in the theft of Zeus’ lighting in the first place.  The movie version, in the end, makes no sense at all because events in this book lead to the next book so with the resolution that happens at the end of the movie, there is no need for a sequel.  To be totally honest though, it’s probably for the best.  All I can say in defense of this movie is that they didn’t have metachlorian’s in it.

Also, a final note, Camp Half Blood looked like it occupied all of about half an acre of land in the movie.  You would think they could have at least made the camp look somewhat believable instead of looking like it was constructed out of Lincoln Logs.

Best Joke I Heard All Day

February 12th, 2010 | 1 Comment | Posted in Humor. HAR... HAR!

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an
Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but
less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was
given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway
here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.

We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I
yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got
what he deserved.

And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing
Commie who isn’t even an American.

So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited

He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck
hit us.”

Gun Nuts Evyl Holsters

February 9th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in my friends, Pass the ammo, webstuff

My friend Michael will be on Gun Nuts Radio tonight talking about his custom holsters from The Holster Site.  Be there!

He’s so smurt

February 6th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

I’m thinking that maybe hooked on phonics didn’t work for him

h/t Black and Right

Happy Birthday Mr President

February 6th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in I heart Sarah Palin, Loving the GOP

One of my proudest moments as a young man was being able to vote for Ronald Regan when he went for his second term.  I remember this speech.  Thanks to Ace for posting this and bringing back one of my very proudest moments as a young conservative.

Regan returned us to a strong economy, a strong military, and a belief that America was exceptional.  A lot of things that had been forgotten during the Carter years he helped us remember.  For that I will always be grateful to him.

I could see this speech being given today, and being just as accurate.

I could see Sarah Palin giving this speech.  Maybe in three years we will.

I love this too

The Obama Way: The Family Edition

February 4th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in We're from the government...

Here’s a teaser.  You should really read the whole thing

This morning, the fate of Boston’s most infamous illegal immigrant, Zeituni Polly Onyango (also known as “Aunt Zeituni”) will be determined in a closed-door hearing.

Why in secret? Because Auntie’s saga reveals every embarrassing truth that amnesty advocates and open-borders liberals like Mayor Tom Menino and Gov. Deval Patrick try to hide.

The most important being that illegal immigrants don’t get that way without first doing something, well, illegal.

But hey, if we expect the laws to be enforced, we are a bunch of racist, tea-bagging haters, right?

Aunt Zeituni donated $260 to her nephew’s campaign for president – which is also against the law because she’s not a U.S. citizen. How against the law is it? Remember when the president launched his unprecedented attack against the Supreme Court during his State of the Union? His complaint was that foreigners might donate money to influence U.S. elections.

All these crimes extend from the first crime – violating our immigration laws. It is simply impossible to stay in this country illegally without committing other crimes, like tax fraud and identity theft.

Everything that is wrong with the system is in full play with Obambi’s Aunt.

H/T Black and Right