The other day the wife and I were in ‘downtown’ Alameda and as we were walking towards the intersection where Starbucks is located we saw two people standing there with clipboards, looking around like they were searching for a mark to shake down, and they were both wearing the same blue shirt with a logo I couldn’t make out at that distance.
As we got closer one of them turned, saw us and began waving like we were old friends or something even though I had never seen him before in my life. But, at the distance we were now at I could see what his shirt said.
Now, in all honesty I planned on just walking on by and ignoring the little liberal douche, but he stepped into the middle of the sidewalk and blocked our way, the whole time smiling a stupid smile like he just humped the neighbor’s cat or something. I guess he thought that by stepping in my way would make me stop, or slow down, but instead I kept the same pace and maintained a collision course. I figured that since he was about 4” taller than me and I was 4” wider across the shoulders that the advantage was in my favor as to who would survive the impact.
At four paces away he opened his hole and began spewing out his opening line. “Hey, do you have a moment to talk a-…”
“Get out of my way, now.”
I said this is a perfectly reasonable tone of voice, the wife says that it came out more like a growl that said “I will kill you now.”
Liberal douchebag stammered, took one step back as I kept moving and then moved out of our way and up against the street light.
We got to our car, cranked up the stereo to ‘The Warrior Song’ and drove past the same corner a few minutes later as we went home. Liberal boy was still against the light post and only calling to people as they walk past him.
So again, I have done my part to keep sidewalks safe for people to travel. No need for thanks, it was my pleasure.