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My New Pen Pal

April 21st, 2011 Posted in Libtards, Pass the ammo, People are Stupid

Have you ever read something that so moved you that you felt compelled to contact the author and let them know how much their writing meant to you?  Well, I got that feeling just the other day after stopping by Breda’s Blog and seeing what she had to say about Eric Heyl.

Now, to say that Eric Heyl is a sexist jerk is probably putting a happy face on this waste of human flesh, but still I decided to contact him and let him know what I thought of this particular article he wrote:

After reading your article all I can say is this:  You’re an idiot and know nothing about women, shooting or concealed carry and are also a perfect example of why your profession is referred to as the Lame Stream Media.

I supposed I could have used facts to show that women shooters are the fastest growing segment of the shooting world, and that firearms can be obtained in any color of the rainbow or that you can colorize it yourself using Duracoat, but I said to myself “Self (which is how I talk to myself) all these wonderful facts will be lost on him because A) he is a misogynistic douche bag and B) look at that dead thing on his upper lip!!!”  So I kept it simple for him, which I thought was best.

Surprise, surprise!!  He responded:

It pains me to have lost the respect of someone who works tirelessly to advance humanity by designing lumpy green ninja-looking creatures. But I do thank you for taking time to share your thoughts.

The “lumpy green ninja-looking creature” he refers to is this.

Ninja-boy here is a character I did as a freshman in undergrad for an animation project, he’s about eight years old now and I use him as a gravitar and kind of a mascot.  I also love how in the email he implies that somehow he is working to advance humanity and attempts to shoot me down with that.  I never said anything about advancing humanity to him, so I guess he is projecting – maybe he should have his therapist explain what that is to him.  Also, since he seemed confused about his status with me, I replied:

Actually,  you have that wrong (as in most things you do) – you never had my respect in the first place.

I was considering becoming a columnist and writing ignorant, misogynistic pieces about topics that I had no knowledge at all but since you have that market covered I decided to be an animator instead.  At least with my field we admit that what we create is a fantasy from our minds.

And again, he wrote back!  We are well on our way to being regular chatty Cathys!

Delightful. I’m certain you’ll soon have the lumpy green ninja-looking creature market cornered. Thanks again, my hostile animator friend.

Hostile??  Hmmmm…. he must be projecting again, I don’t think I wrote one hostile word at all.  Sarcastic sure, but hostile?  Nahhhh.

I’m considering writing back to him just to point out one other fact that he has missed (hey, so far he has missed almost every fact that has come his way so at least he’s batting 1000 there) – Ninja-boy is YELLOW, not green.  You would think he would be very familiar with the color yellow since it’s the kind of journalism he practices every day.

5 Responses to “My New Pen Pal”

  1. mike w. Says:

    Dude, that last bit? Best response ever! Bravo!


  2. Breda Says:

    I think Mr. Heyl is beginning to realize that there IS such a thing as bad publicity.


  3. Jennifer Says:

    How cute! He’s probably gotten more page views on that particular piece of drivel than ever before in his keyboard jockey career, and he reacts by throwing feeble attempts at insult at the people that read it.


  4. ailuromaniac Says:

    Hostile by a long concatenation of definitions and permutations of synonyms (a fun game of pick a synonym and run it through the thesaurus and keep doing it until you get back to your root word. I think if you do it long enough you can get from black to white);)

    Possibly he either does not know, does not care to, or cannot distinguish among equivalents, synonyms and related words? You might want to include a short essay on the etymology of hostile. He is obviously displaying his insecurity if to not bow to his self-perceived superior intellect is hostile. Agree = Friendly Disagree = Hostile?

    As for your Ninja boy’s color, well a lot of you fellows have degrees of color blindness that have nothing to do with racial bigotry…. Perhaps you should give him the hexadecimal equivalents? Assuming the sensory handicap, to just tell him “not green, yellow” would have no more meaning than saying the same to a cat.

    Well, you might want to quote the statistics that are lost on him just for the record. Of course, you then may find that he is one of the 1+1=3 crowd of fuzzy non-mathematicians.


  5. Six Says:

    You are now officially my hero. That was a fine smackdown, especially since he felt threatened enough by you to respond. Kudos.


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