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Bacon!

March 23rd, 2010 | 4 Comments | Posted in Food is good, Humor. HAR... HAR!

I saw this and thought of my friend, Michael.

Turn off the Damn Lights!!!

January 8th, 2009 | 3 Comments | Posted in Food is good, ramblings

At oh-dark-thirty in the morning the other day I had to take the wife to the airport so she could fly home and spend some time with her parents. Since her dad doesn’t like me and a family visit for me is about on the same level as a root canal I decided to stay home. Besides, someone has to take care of the cats.

Anyway, as we are leaving we stopped to get some gas and we were a bit hungry so, since I noticed that Burger King had their lights on, we pulled into the drive-thru to get a little grub to go.

They weren’t open.

Lights were on, sign lights were on, but no people were actually doing any work inside. The lights were on, no one was home. Pissed me right-the-hell off, lured in by the lights like a moth to the flame in expectation of artery clogging breakfasty goodness (breakfasty is now a word, deal with it) and no one was there to fulfill my desires. Just WRONG I tell ya.

If you aren’t open for business then turn off the lights so we KNOW you aren’t open. I promise, we won’t think badly of you for not being open. I know you want us to know where you’re located, but I know that already. You’re in the exact same spot you were yesterday, and the day before that, and the one before that too.

I drove past a pizza place right after that and they had their pizza sign on and another that said “free delivery” which is total crap because I do know that there’s no way in hell they are going to deliver a pizza to me at that time of the morning. Turn the damn lights off people, I bet those signs are equipped with switched that are designed to deny power to the glowey part of the sign. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.

As we continued on our way I saw another person who was tricked by the glow of the food lights. Poor guy walked up to the door of a diner whose lights were on, the sign was on, and were they open? Of course they weren’t. I watched as he pulled on the door and then turned to look around in that “I hope no one saw me look like an idiot” kind of way.

Now, Taco Bell, they had the right idea. I cruised on past, heading off the island, and there was Taco Bell, totally blacked out. No sign lights, no interior lights. You knew right away that they were closed, no ambiguity at all. I was able to say “Gee, let’s not check Taco Bell because they don’t look like they are open.”

All I want is open and honest communication from the people that are trying to kill me with tons of salt, sugar and calories. Is that too much to ask?

Beggars

November 12th, 2007 | 2 Comments | Posted in Food is good

I know I haven’t mentioned this, but my wife and I have three cats.  Two of them, Quazo and MIsto, are mine from before I met the wife and the other one, Wicket, is hers.

Now my cats don’t like human food, cat treats, anything but the food they get in their bowl.  Wicket on the other hand thinks that almost any kind of meat product belongs on a plate for her to enjoy when she wants it.  If I am making a sandwich she will hop up on the counter and grip at me until I give her some of my lunchmeat and since her mom was a Siamese she knows how to talk… a lot.

It’s been a few weeks though since I have given her any lunchmeat because she was usually asleep when I was making something, but today was a whole different story.   Wicket was asleep in the bedroom and I went into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. 

Well, she must have heard it open and known that it was lunchtime because the next thing you know I see her flying through the air as she flung herself a the dining room table and she starts screaming at me before she even landed.

I hadn’t even gotten the lunchmeat out of the door yet and she’s sitting there, leaning forward and staring at my hands like I held the key to her eternal happiness.  I did share some with her which she gobbled up like she hadn’t eaten in five days, but then the little beggar had the gaul to hop up near my sandwich and stare at me some more like “You’re going to share aren’t you?”

Let it be a lesson to all of you out there.  Sharing with a cat just means they will try and take advantage of you even more. 

Little brats.

I’ll take a Divinity please

November 2nd, 2007 | 1 Comment | Posted in Food is good, School

I went to Stanford University the other day with my sculpture class to get a look at the Rodin’s they have there. If you don’t know who Rodin is then I suggest looking him up, he was one of the greatest sculpters in the world. Between him and Michaelangelo they have contributed more to sculpture than any other artist I can think of. When he died his studio had over 6,000 sculpture molds and 8,000 drawings. The man was AMAZING!

They have a huge collection of his work at Stanford from his earliest bronze of”man with a broken nose” to a full size version of “The Gates of Hell” which was actually cast in bronze after he died. A monolith size version of ‘The Thinker’ is sitting right in the middle of the entry area of the museum, amazing work, seeing it in a picture doesn’t do justice to his work at all, if at all possible you should see it up close and in person.

There is also a casting of the “The Burghers of Calais” and three different sizes of “The Age of Bronze”. I wandered in the museum and out in the sculpture garden for a while and stopped to sketch some of the works there, more to get back into some sketch work but also because it’s a Rodin! The guy was a freaking genius and there they were right in front of me!

I got to thinking while I was there, enjoying the clear skies and warm sun (and I started getting hungry for lunch) that if I was ever to open a hamburger joint I would call it “The Burgers of Calais” and then would have three types of hamburgers:

  • The Divinity – Covered in bacon, Swiss and Cheddar cheese, A-1 sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and thin sliced red onions
  • The Purgatory – A plain hamburger on a bun with ketchup and mustard
  • The Inferno – Red Chili flakes in the meat, topped with red and green chilies, and a dash of hot mustard and hot sauce.

I know, my brain goes off in odd directions. You want fries with that?

Artery-clogging goodness

August 21st, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Food is good

I love McDonald’s.  A Quarter Pounder with cheese and fries *drool*.  I know it’s bad for me and has about a billion calories.  I know I am going to have to run an extra three miles just for even thinking about a Quarter Pounder, but I DON’T CARE!!!  It’s just sooo good!

The wife is a White Castle fiend, she likes their little cheeseburgers with extra pickles but I just can get behind a steam cooked hamburger, which just seems wrong somehow.

Can you tell I just went and got lunch?  Three guesses where and the first two don’t count.

The Giant Cream Puff

August 18th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Food is good

I just had some of the best food EVER this afternoon, I am not kidding. The wife and I went to lunch with a friend of ours from work who had suggested we eat at a place in German Village she knows about called Schmidt’s.  I had never heard of it because I never get around German Village all that often since I am on the other side of town, and now I am ashamed of myself for not going over there more.

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They have absolutely the best German food I have ever tried.   I have been to Germany and Austria so it’s not like I haven’t had any from the source and if you like polka music you can go over on Thursdays and enjoy the music with your food.

The restaurant has been in the family since it opened in 1886 and they make all their own sausages and deserts there (a lot of places will order their deserts from a desert company I found out). 

The creampuff that the wife and I shared was at least half a pound, I swear it’s true.  It was so good we ordered a second one and brought it home for later – it’s in the fridge now and it’s taking all of my iron will to leave it there. 

OK, so this is a ‘guess what happened today’ post, but their food was SOOOOOO good I had to write about it.  And even better, they have a website that you can use to order your food for delivery!!!