In the first ten minutes of the movie I had already decided it deserved a spot on the DVD shelf and it just got better from there. The main character is Gru, voiced by Steve Carrell. Gru is like a grown up version of Dexter from “Dexter’s Lab”. He’s kind of geeky, socially inept, and really just wants to be cool. Thankfully he has his yellow minions to cheer him on and treat him like the rock star he wants to be.

Gru’s nemesis is a new villain on the block by the name of Vector who reminds me of Dexter’s enemy Mandark. Anything Gru can do, Vector does better and it soon becomes a battle between the two to see who is the best villain and both of them deciding to steal the moon as the ultimate heist of the century.

In case this isn’t enough there are also the characters of Margo Edith, and Agnes. Three orphan girls who want nothing more than a home and, in the case of Agnes, a fluffy unicorn.

I won’t say much more about this except to say that this movie is perfect for boys, girls, kids and adults. The boys will love the minions, the girls will love the orphans, and everyone will enjoy the story and the loony toons style of comedy that is placed throughout the picture.

Seriously, just go see it.

Thankfully I have Air Force Blues to help me properly observe such a noble holiday.

My call sign, according to them, is ‘Shooter’.

I can live with that.

Considering the other movies to his credit (Cheaper By The Dozen 1 and 2, Scooby-Do, and a TV “documentary’ that contends the moon landing was faked) I will contend that transforming a book with three strong main characters in Percy, Grover and Annabeth into a strong movie was far beyond his capacity as a writer.

**Spoilers Ahead**

While the books were fun and enjoyable to read, the movie plodded along as if everyone that was part of it was simply going through the motions.  Percy discovering that he is a demi-god is met with the same level of emotion as when his mother is killed by the Minotaur (yes, the same one).  A few brief words of “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it..” and then we are off to the next scene.  The entire movie felt like one forced scene after another and every one was disjointed and smashed together.  There was never a point where you felt like the picture had a pacing or flow to it that allowed the plot to reveal itself.  Instead every plot point is shoved in your face as if the entire audience is far too stupid to figure it out without big clues and signs.

In the books Percy’s parentage is slowly revealed because he is special.  In the books the “Big Three”, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades had agreed not to have any more children with mortals because the last time they did it ended up with WWII being fought.  So Percy’s existence is chancy to say the least.  Just by breathing he has put the gods closer to going to war again.  In the books when Poseidon claims his son it’s a big deal, everyone is in shock.  In the movie it’s revealed by Chiron taking Percy to his cabin and saying “Here your father built this for you.” and the cabin looks like Captain Jack’s version of home with ships wheels and nautical items everywhere.

Every scene is rushed through to such a point that you end up wondering why one character helping the other.  They meet in the morning and by that night they are suddenly leaving together to go on a quest of life and death proportions??? Percy arrives at Camp Half Blood and somehow after only one day there is suddenly a huge bad ass with a sword and shield.  HUH??  Also, at the end of that single day he runs off on his quest to get Zeus’ lightning back.  In the books it is approached as a quest with the heroes consulting the Oracle of Delphi and being sent out but the movie can’t be bothered with this and instead resorts to having Zeus accuse Percy of stealing his lightning bolt for no reason at all except that he is Poseidon’s son.  Which, if it was stolen for the sake of stealing then Zeus would have looked to Hermes if anyone who wrote the script had thought about it for a moment.

The movie also removed Aries and Kronos as major characters, in fact, they aren’t even mentioned while in the book they are a couple of the central characters involved in the theft of Zeus’ lighting in the first place.  The movie version, in the end, makes no sense at all because events in this book lead to the next book so with the resolution that happens at the end of the movie, there is no need for a sequel.  To be totally honest though, it’s probably for the best.  All I can say in defense of this movie is that they didn’t have metachlorian’s in it.

Also, a final note, Camp Half Blood looked like it occupied all of about half an acre of land in the movie.  You would think they could have at least made the camp look somewhat believable instead of looking like it was constructed out of Lincoln Logs.

MOVIE fans are rushing to name their babies after characters in sci-fi smash Avatar.

Choices include Neytiri – after the film’s Na’vi warrior-princess – and giant flying creature Toruk.

Another favourite is Pandora, name of the blockbuster flick’s fictional planet.

Add this to the people that are feeling depressed that the planet Pandora isn’t real

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.

This kind of people really irritate and piss me off.  Oh, the world isn’t fucking perfect and gee maybe if I off myself I can be reborn in a perfect world.  Fine, go for it.  Don’t try and improve the world around yourself by actually DOING something productive and positive.  Don’t go and work with charities or even just assist your neighbor, no, that would be silly.  Instead sit around on your ass surfing the internet and WISHING.

This is one of the huge differences I see between myself and my liberal co-workers. (Yes, I am using a specific example of something I have personally observed).  The store gets trashed by moron customers who grab magazines, books and coffee and then leave their shit all over the place.  They let their kids run rampant in the kids section and just throw everything on the floor and of course we have to clean it all up.

My liberal co-workers look at the mess and essentially give up “Oh, we’ll never get this done so why are we even bothering?” – yes, a direct quote.  My attitude, and the attitude of my more conservative co-workers is more along the lines of “If we don’t do it, then how will it get any better on it’s own?”

The liberals say things like “We should tell the customers….” while we just dive in and work.  They are all for telling someone else to do something “They should put their stuff away themselves” but we know that the idiots won’t do that so it’s up to us.  We may not be able to change their minds, but we don’t have to live with their mess.

I see the same thing with the Avatar crap above.

The movie was so beautiful and it showed something we don’t have here on Earth

What?!  We don’t have places of wonder and beauty on this planet???  Are you fucking kidding me?  Jesus, turn on Discovery Channel sometime and you’ll see some of the most amazing places EVER and they are right here on good ol’ planet Earth.   These whining douche-nozzles never seem to appreciate what they have right in front of them, always have to look around and find some reason to have cry baby fits over stupid shit.   Grow the fuck up people!

In the sixties they would have all been smoking dope and hanging out in Berzerkly, now they smoke dope and hang out on internet chat forums.  Fucking sad.

Is this major levels of cheese?  Sho-nuff!

(from the wife)

Is this a form of torture?  Sho-nuff!

Paramount Pictures and the Oscar-winning writer-director team are moving fast on their re-adaptation of the Charles Portis novel, first reaching out to Jeff Bridges, and now Damon and Brolin, to potentially star. Damon would take on the Glen Campbell role of a Texas Ranger tracking an outlaw along with a gruff U.S. marshal originally played by John Wayne, who won an Oscar for his role in the 1969 Western.

Seriously, is this a fucking joke or something?? Jeff Bridges in John Wayne’s roll? I’m sorry, Jeff Bridges is a good actor and I thought he did a fine job in Iron Man, but he is no John Wayne and to add Matt Damon “I don’t to films with gratuitous violence” in it as well!!! WTF???? Why not throw Pauley Shore in there as well and maybe David Spade as the Texas Ranger instead!

I work in a bookstore, I see TONS of new books on the shelves. Maybe you Hollywood types should go into a bookstore at some point and pick up something new, read it, and then make a movie from that instead of constantly deciding to redo something that was already done right the first time. How many remakes do we really need? OR is this just some really cheap way to make a new movie. You already have the script so you can just cut the writers out of it and work from the original one?

Scott Rudin, who produced the Best Picture winner “No Country,” is producing “Grit” as well, along with Steven Spielberg. Focus Features recently released the Coens’ latest film, “A Serious Man,” after premiering it at the Toronto film festival last month.

Oh good, and Spielberg is involved too, so maybe we can have cheesy flying saucers at the end just like in the last Indiana Jones movie (which sucked too!)

How can anyone ever hope to improve upon this

Depp will reprise his role as Capt. Jack Sparrow in “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” slated for summer of 2011. It’s the fourth in a series.

Dressed as Sparrow, Depp staggered around the stage and embraced Walt Disney Studios Chairman Dick Cook, who announced the news to about 5,000 fans on hand for the D23 Expo, Disney’s answer to Comic-Con.

Yeah, just what the world needs, another crappy movie, because ‘At World’s End” wasn’t bad enough for them

I know I’ve said this before, but is there NO originality left in Hollyweird?  Are they so afraid of taking a chance on something new that instead all we get is retread after retread.  And then, when they DO try something new they either take the original story and screw it up so bad you can’t recognize it from the book that they took it from, or the do something so left wing artsy that the only people that go to see it are the Hollyweird people themselves.

And to add insult to injury, Depp will be in a Lone Ranger movie…. as Tonto.

In his presentation of upcoming Disney films, Cook also announced that Depp would play Tonto in an upcoming big-screen adaptation of “The Lone Ranger.”

Yea, cause I bet there was NO WAY you could find a Native American who could act, right?  I remember laughing over the fact that Hollywood had Chuck Connors play Geronimo, the bluest eyed Geronimo you will ever see, and how Hollywood is all about rights and equality but they are so concerned with equal rights that they once again can’t find an Native American to play a Native American.

Why is that somehow OK to do this but it’s not OK when Robert Downey Jr put on blackface to play a character in “Tropic Thunder”? It must be a ‘black thing’ or something that I’m just not smart enough to understand.  In any event, a big “thank you” to Disney for proving that, even without Eisner, they are still going to shovel crap to us and call it a feast.

“It’s been a miserable week for me,” Bale, 35, admitted. “I was out of order, beyond belief. I acted like a punk. I regret that. There is nobody who has heard that tape that has been hit harder by it than me.”

We are still, of course, waiting for the announcement that he will be entering a treatment facility to help him with his anger management issues, but I have to laugh at the “There is nobody who has heard that tape that has been hit harder by it than me”. Yea, sure, you are just worried that people are going to say “Screw you.  I’m never going to one of that assholes films.”

According to the recently released audio tape, Bale screamed for nearly four minutes in a profanity-laced rage at Hurlbut when he accidentally walked on set.

But Bale said his freak out was due to the intense nature of his craft.

You want to see the “intense nature of {someones} craft”?  Get your ass out there with a firefighter trying to save someone from a burning building; or a cop who is under fire from some piece of shit gang banger; what about a doctor or an EMT who is trying to save a person’s life as the patient is circling the drain; or how bout one of our military members on point in Iraq or Afghanistan.  I did a quick search and can’t find anywhere if Chrissy have ever even BEEN to see and support our troops.

No, your ‘craft’ is not intense.

Yes, I do know a little about acting because as an animator we have to ACT out what our characters are doing and that requires – ACTING!  Am I on the same level as a multi-million dollar movie person?  Nope, but I think that if you are getting paid that much to do make believe then maybe you can ACT like a fucking human every once in a while.

I ask everybody to sit down and ask themselves, ‘Have they ever had a bad day and ever lost their temper and really regretted it immensely?’”

I’ve had bad days, everyone has, but my WORST day never included a four minute tirade and threats of violence, and that was the day I was slashed open with a broken beer bottle by a drunk asshole.

Chrissy, you are a spoiled little brat who threw a tantrum when the world didn’t turn the way you wanted it to and the sky wasn’t the perfect shade of blue for you.  Grow the fuck up, jerk.

Filming at Kirtland Air Force Base in New Mexico on July 18th last year, Bale goes off on the director of photography Shane Hurlbut whom the actor accuses of ruining a scene by walking onto the set. Bale threatens to quit the production if the DP isn’t fired.

Yet another Hollywood prick who thinks that he is more important than he really is.  He thinks he’s an “artist” when the fact is he’s not.  He is an entertainer.  The artist is the person who wrote the script, the storyboard artist who lays it all out so Mr Bale knows what the fuck he should be doing, the cameraman who does the amazing camera work to create an effect, Bale just spouts off lines – that’s it.  Without those other people there to make him look good he’s just another pissy liberal

Personally, I have yet to see him in a movie that I thought was worth a crap and that includes Batman.  The only way they could have gotten someone who was LESS like Batman than Christian Bale was if they had hired Pauly Shore for the job.

I think as soon as Bale spouted off with “I’ll kick your fucking ass” I would have told him to bring it.  May have lost my job, but there is no way in hell I’d let a fucking punk like Bale threaten me.  He can go pound sand up his ass for all I care.

Yea, This what Bale thinks he is.

Yea, not so much

Go, watch, laugh.