Life in 3D

Five percent

I’m tired. I’m really, really fucking tired. I’m tired of the five percent of the customers that come into our store that think we are there to clean up their god damn mess, watch their kids, and kiss their fucking asses. New flash, assholes, we have actual WORK to do and that doesn’t include baby sitting, wiping your butt, or being your personal maid.

I really don’t understand how these douche-bag morons are able to function in the world. I see them doing shit like pushing their strollers onto the escalator while ignoring the sign that says “Please use the elevator behind you for strollers or wheelchairs”. Then, when you point it out to them they pull a fucking attitude on you. Yeah, because you KNOW that when they lose control of it and junior takes the big fall back to the first floor that they will be suing us, but how dare we stop them from being dumbshits.

Or the dickhead teenager who thinks that A) Skateboarding in the store is cool and is trying to practice his kick flips in the Manga section while hanging out with his waste-of-an-orgasm friends or B) thinks that doing stupid shit on the escalator that will most likely result in stitches in his head is a good way to impress the ladies.  While I do enjoy throwing them out (which I do) there is always one who tries the “This is a public place, we have a right to be here.  Wrong, niou-se, we are a PRIVATELY OWNED COMPANY and we can throw your ass out if we want to.

I also like it when they decide that since, in their school, no one can lay a hand on them that it must be true with the rest of the world too and they get ballsy enough to try and challenge me.  I usually tell them that yes, I will kick your ass and then call the cops to arrest you for trespassing.  Always nice to see the look in their eyes when they realize that they have suddenly walked their virgin asses into a situation that they aren’t going to win.

My other favorite customer: The parents who drop the kids off in the kids section while they head over to sit and have a coffee while their little tax deduction tears books, destroys merchandise and draw on the walls with the crayons they ripped open from one of the coloring books. But OH MY GOD if you tell them to get control of the little Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze they (once again) pull the offended act. Yeah, how dare we stop your monster from destroying something that YOU AREN’T GOING TO PAY FOR!!!

Get the fuck out of my store capullo!

I had one woman who’s brat was running in the kids section pulling books off the shelves by the handful and when we told her to stop her mom’s response was “She’s not hurting anyone. Besides, it’s your job to clean up so I don’t see what your problem is.”

The problem, bitch, is that we have other shit to do like, oh gee, help customers that are actually buying shit. Seriously, how fucking stupid are you people that you think we are here to just clean up after you while you walk around with your nose in the fucking air because SOMEHOW you must be smarter, better and more socially acceptable that I am because I work in a bookstore while you have some fucking office job.  We are just here to serve you coffee and pamper you while you crap all over the place and fuck up our magazines?  Don’t think so.

How God Damn difficult is it to put your shit back where you got it from?  Do you just let your kids drop crap all over your house to and it just stays where it hits?  Or are you just showing a double standard that it’s OK to shit on people who you don’t know because your such a stummer arsch?

The worst part, the VERY WORST FUCKING PART, is that it’s FIVE PERCENT of our customers that do this shit and it fucks the whole store up, makes us spend more time fixing shit than being able to help people and if we could just ban that five percent from the store the whole place would be cleaner, would take less time to close up at night, and we would be able to provide better service to the rest of our customers.

I really wish you jackasses would just stay the hell our of my store. Really, just go watch TV or something, books are wasted on you anyway.

Suzanne Somers should shut her pie hole

In the category of “Celebrities Who Should STFU” our next award goes to Suzanne Somers who had this to say about the passing of Patrick Swayze:

“They took this beautiful man and they basically put poison in him,” she reportedly said. “Why couldn’t they have built him up nutritionally and gotten rid of the toxins in his body? I hate to be this controversial. I’m a singer-dancer-comedienne. But we have an epidemic going on, and I have to say it.”

The man has JUST passed away and she comes out with her hippy-dippy BS.  Why can’t people like her just shut the fuck up and let his family and friends mourn in peace?  NO, she has to use it to push her own bullshit viewpoints on medicine.

Are you a doctor Suzanne?  No, your not.  According to your own statement you are a ’singer-dancer-comedienne’ – all of which are debatable – but not a doctor.  So while I know nothing about your case I will say this – you know nothing about his either and I am sure that his doctors did everything that they could to not only cure him but give him a healthy life.  Sometime you can win those fights and sometimes you can’t but to insinuate that his doctors killed him goes beyond the pale and shows how ignorant you truly are.

What is it with celebrities that make them think “Oh, I have to share my wisdom with the world, they NEED me!”  No, we really don’t.  What we need you to do is shut your pie hole and go away.

Rest in peace Mr. Swayze

Bookstore observations

Teenage Customer: “I’m looking for a book I need for school.  I think it’s a year or something like that.”

Me: “1984?”

Teenage Customer:”Yeah, that’s it!  So, what’s it about?  Is it, like, about the 80’s or something.”

Me: “Yep, talks about Member’s only jackets, hair bands, all that stuff.”

Teenage Customer:”Cool, I can handle that.”

Some people we shouldn’t even try to educate.

Keeping Them Safe

David Rhodes, a reporter for the New York Times, just escaped from his captors last Friday and managed to get to some friendly forces and is now back in good hands. For this I am glad for him, his family and his co-workers.

On the other hand, part of the article quoted his editors at the Times saying this

“All along, we were told by people that probably the wisest course for David’s safety was to keep it quiet,” Keller said in an interview on CNN.

So they did.

“It was an agonizing position that we revisited over and over again,” Keller said in the CNN interview with Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz. “But I also have a responsibility for the people who work for me. I send a lot of people out into dangerous places and their security is also part of my job.”

It’s a shame that the level of responsibility that he takes for his people doesn’t extend to the rest of the country. They named Khaled Sheik Mohammed’s interrogator over the request of the CIA who wanted to protect him and were concerned for his safety; they revealed sensitive information about troop movements using illegally leaked classified information which could have compromised the safety of our troops, but when it comes to one of their own people the stance is “We had a responsibility to him.”

Yeah? Well what about the responsibility you have to the Americans you endangered by those other reports you did? Oh, the public had a right to know, right? Well how come we had a right (and somehow a need) to know the name of KSMs interrogator and we didn’t have a need to know that an American citizen was being held hostage by a bunch of scumbag terrorists? Oh, because that story wouldn’t have hurt the military or the intelligence community while Bush was president.

Again, I am glad that David Rhodes is safe and unharmed, I just wish the Times was as concerned about other people’s safety as they are about one of their own.

**UPDATE**

Michelle Malkin has a much better look at the Times and their attitude on national security.